When Will I Feel Different?

I wake up every morning with the same person on my mind and I end my day every night with the same person on my mind. I thought by now that I would have moved on with my life and he would be a afterthought for me like the rest of my ex's. I have ask God to give me the strenght to move on and release him from my life if he is not my soulmate. I have ask God to make me lose my desire for him and everyday it is still there. We broke up a year ago and I have not seen him face to face in almost two years. He has been in my life for almost three years now. I have been on dates and the guys were not bad guys. They had good jobs, nice looking and gentlemen but there is something on the inside that is not opening for them and I have not seen any of them anymore. It is funny because I talk to a close friend of mine and he tells me that it does not work because I am looking for my ex in all of them. I don't think I am looking for him in them but I am looking for the feeling I get from him. I feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him call and when I hear his voice it sends chills thru my body. When he is near me it is hot and I never want him to leave, and when he is not with me I miss him. He stays on my mind 24/7 and I always want to talk to him. The crazy thing is we have gone thru some serious issues since we met and they are the kind of things that I should not ever want to deal with him again. I can not really talk to anyone close to me because no one wants me to deal with him. I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore. The preacher was talking last Sunday and he was saying that God was getting me ready for my husband. I believe there could be some truth in that but right now I feel there has been a lock put on my heart and my ex has taken the key with him. I wish someone would break the lock or he would return the key so I can go on with my life. Part of me wishes that we could work it out and he would fix what he broke with us but the other part of me knows that if he remains the same that he is not good for my life and bringing him back in my life could cause me to lose a lot of people I love. It is funny because as I wrote this blog , I got a message from a friend that said " U gotta do what's best for B & hers and 4get about him. U need peace and happiness right now". Believe it or not I want happiness and peace in my life but I don"t know how right now. I am listening to this song by Monica that says you only get one in a lifetime and sometimes I believe he is my soulmate and my one in a lifetime.