Goodbye to my Mom

My Mom passed away on May 24th, 2010. When I left the hospital in March and the doctor gave her two weeks to two months to live, I knew that was the last time I would tell her I loved her or kiss her goodbye. I came home and I did what they tell you to do , get prepared but you can never prepare yourself for your mom dying. My mom like every other person had her faults but she is the woman who gave me life.

There was alot of drama and stress when my mom passed away but in the end it brought her children closer together. Me and my sister Denny have been able to really talk about how we feel. She has realized that she does not have to be superwoman for me and I can actually just be her little sister. Since my mom's death , I have realized that I was not the only one of mom's kids that went thru the verbal and emotional abuse by her.

For the first time since my dad past away I felt a calm safe feeling being in my parents room. I had a chance to confront a lot of things from my past when I went home. My brother Tim after 33 years apolognized for not protecting me when I was molested as a child. My older sister and brother finally found out why I never wanted to deal with my brother Tim growing up. All I have now is my brothers and sister because now Mom and Dad are gone. I never thought that either one of my parents would be alive to see me get remarried and have grandkids. I knew they could not live forever but I did not believe that they would leave me at 42. I remember when I was sick and they told my parents I had 3 weeks to live, Mom pray that God would not take me before he took her life. I lost my grandparents and now both parents. My Dad use to say I hope God takes your mom before me because your mom will leave you guys in a financial mess. Dad was so right but we will work it out. I have learn from my mom's mistakes and I am making sure that my kids will be taking care of when my time comes.

My high school love was with me the weekend before my mom died visiting and when my mom was buried he was by my side. We have remain friends after 27 years and that is something I treasure. I hate that men that I have been in relationships with over the years don"t understand that is one friendship they can never ask me to walk away from ever. He has been apart of every part of my life since I was 14. He has watched me grow up and he has never left my side. I treasure his friendship and he is the one person in the world that I know will never hurt me. I am enjoying his time back in the states before he leaves again to go back overseas.

My kids are okay after losing two grandparents in two days. I was really worried about them because that is hard for an adult to deal with and my baby is only 16. I have them and they have me and I will do everything in my power to be the Mother that when my time comes they will have many good memories and they will want to be with me until the end. Sakyi is grown now and I just want to make sure she has what she needs to start her life and be independent. I want to teach T.J to be the man that God's desires him to be and I feel he is on the right road.

Who says there are no friends in the industry? When my mom passed away I got love from around the world from the industry and that made me feel so good. I have made some solid relationships and friendships in the industry , I thank God for my extended family that he blessed me with in the industry. God also brought my family back into my life and I thank him for that also. It is time for me to continue being the woman that God wants me to be and to work thru my past so I can enjoy my future..

I love you Mom and I will miss you alot, Kiss my dad for me and hug my grandparents.