The End

Yesterday was officially the end of a long chapter in my life that started October 2007. It was a part of my life that I will never forget. I learned a lot of life lessons, and a lot about myself. He help me thru a lot of major issues in my life. The crazy thing is that he was stronger for me then he was for myself. I don't hate him and I wish him the best in the future. We tried the breaking up and staying friends but that is hard when you don't have a understanding of real friendship.

After a long conversation yesterday with my close friends , I was able to finally let go and walk away forever. Both have been saying the same things to me but one was just harder than the other. The funny thing is we have been here before and there was always this 72 hour thing with us. One of us always gave in and contacted the other within 72 hours. This time I am ready and I feel it within myself. Today I feel like I did the day after I walked out of Nick's apartment after being married after 14 years, November 5th when I ask Jamel to leave after living together for 1 year and a half, this has been two years and nine months of my life. I did not look back on either of the other long term relationships in my life and I will not look back this time. I am not bitter or angry but just relieved. This time it is mutual and no talk of get back or revenge. I can only control my life and that is with the help of God. I believe that God is preparing me for my husband not someone else's husband or boyfriend. God is preparing my husband for me and when it is the right time in my life God will present him to me and he will be everything I need. Me and my ex did create something that means a lot to me , my company. That is our baby and I will treat it just like my other two kids that I birth. I have been here before and each time it took me a little longer to let go but in the end I did. I experience a lot of first with my last ex that I will not forget! lol..I experience things that I never thought I could feel but in a good way. No more tears but if you see me and I have a smile on my face I probably had a flash back that caused it. He is someone I will always love and remember.

Monica Still Standing

Spoken

Mama always told me

Baby you gotta walk by faith

And not by sight

Real talk

You gotta listen

Oh, oh, oh, ohohoh

Ooh, yeah

Verse 1

Oh, listen to me now

I'm gonna say it loud

So you won't be confused

'Bout what we talkin' 'bout

I been through the storm

Had dirt on my name

I'm still holding on

Champion of the game (they said)

Whatever don't kill you make you stronger

Well, I must be the world's strongest woman

See I done done a whole lotta growin'

Everything you say

I'm already knowin'

Cause I...

Chorus

I been up against ropes

Everything you're going through

I been there before

Seen them all come

And I seen them all go

You can bet your last that my head won't hit the floor

Never

And I'm still standing, standing, standing, standing

I'm still standing, standing, standing, standing

Verse 2

I had a lover take his own in front of me

I asked God why is this happening to me

But I didn't fold,

I held my own

And now I'm deep in love with who I belong(This is my life)

They say with age comes wisdom

And the white flag, I can't give 'em

Tryin' to tell you how it's s'posed to be

See, this is more than just a song to me

Cause I...