Emotional

Today has been a very emotional day for me. I always have a 10 ft wall around me all the time and never like to show the soft side of me. I went to the movies with my cousin Tujuana to see "If I Stay". It brought back memories about me being sick the I had suppress for so long. I could feel what she was feeling and I remembered hearing my family talking to me while I was in a coma. I remembered trying to fight my way back and not knowing how. I remembered not being able to breath on my own. I remembered replaying my life in my head. Thinking about the birth of my kids, my kids starting school and the promise I made to both of them to always be there for them. I heard the nurses talking about my condition  and how no one expected me to live and when they put meds in the wrong tubes and felt it didn't matter. But I had a male nurse name Chris and I remember how he would come in my room at night and he would just talk to me. When I finally open my eyes, I got to see Chris. I still couldn't talk but he understood me and I never wanted him to leave. I had trust in Chris. That time was the hardest time in my life because everything I took for granted was now a challenge for me. Breathing on my own, talking, walking and feeding myself. I am so afraid and I never want to be in that spot again.

Bonita vs Peaches

I was walking last night and listening to Beyonce's album and I starting laughing because I feel all women should have a alter ego. I like Beyonce have a alter ego called Peaches but she only appears for one person. I think women get it confused and bring out the alter ego for every man they meet and that is not wise. Women are taught to be reserved and never talk about sex and the ones that do talk about ,,well just say get look at a different way. I feel professional woman need to understand that at work we are professional and we are suppose to be professional but when we get home it is about the man in our life rather it is a lover, boyfriend or husband. It is called balancing work and home. We spend time being mom, being a employee, being a boss but some women forget how to be a woman. I had to learn to put my cell phone down and give the person in my life my undivided attention. Women all I will tell you is explore life, love and relationships but be safe and only show that alter ego to one person! Enjoy being a woman just like men enjoy being men! It is a physical part of life and God created us to enjoy it. It has many health benefits and you should research it. You shouldn't share with everyone you meet and everyone you meet doesn't deserve to share in that part of your life. But when you find that person that you do allow your alter ego to reveal themselves believe me life will be awesome and you will always have a smile like I do.

P.S.
Everyone does not have to know who it is but believe me they will notice in your walk, talk and smile that someone knows your alter ego!

Day 36 on HCG Protocol

Hcg day 36: http://youtu.be/oz4pFjrTZBI

Ending Round 1 Phase 2 and down 21 pounds. I lost pounds and inches. Preparing to hit the road for work, transition to phase 3, re branding of Sniper Squad , and TJ and Sakyi coming home.

Been really emotional the last few days and I don't like that and be glad when it passes.

A Apple Day for me on Easter! HCG Diet

I have been stuck at 192.5 for 4 days. My water weight is up. So today I will only eat 6 apples. My inches are still reducing. I haven't had a bowel movement in 4 days either. So after a apple day both things should be okay and tomorrow I should see a lost on the scales. I am ready to start working out. I need something else that I haven't had in 10 days also then I will really be good.. School is almost over and I am taking a break until the fall. I get to travel this summer and enjoy myself and just lose weigh

DAY 27 AND 19 POUNDS DOWN

I had a great weekend in St. Louis. I took all my food with me and I never cheated on my diet. I had some stalls but I am losing inches. I have lost 5.5 inches in my waist and 3 inches from my bust, arms, hips and thighs. I went to plum market and I found Walden Farms salad dressing, it is calorie free, no sugar, no carbs and gassini and I had to get more Braggs Amino to go with my Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar. I precooked food for the week. I did curry chicken, Cajun chicken , lemon chicken and ground beef.

Day 16 HCG Lost More inches

I am excited today! I lost more inches! I love this diet. I had stuff cabbage last night with bake cinnamon apples! Your have to try it ! I will give you the recipe today! I am will be in St. Louis this weekend for DJs United and I can't wait to see my fam! Check it out www.djsunitedconference.com . I will get to see TJ also on Sunday. Time to be me this weekend and do what I do! This is all about me and my djs with Sniper Squad that is who I represent this weekend!



What you will need:

• 2 apples
  
• Cinnamon

Directions:

• Remove apple core. I most likely did this wrong since half of the apple was missing when I removed it but you get the idea.
  
• Thinly slice the entire apple.
  
• Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and place apple slices on it.
  
• Sprinkle with cinnamon.
  
• Bake at 275 degrees for two hours. At the end of hour one flip them over so they bake evenly.

My White Suit At the End of My Aisle

I meet my white suit at the end of my aisle in September 2006. I didn’t know that is who he was at the time. We became friends and he became a friend that became my rock and my comforter. He was there for me through the death of my mom and through the roughest breakup of my life. He understood me and never once did he tell me he wanted to be the white suit for me. Through my journey there were many detours and closed roads and people giving me the wrong directions and I kept getting lost. One weekend I took a trip and I walk out a house when I walk outside I look into the face of my white suit at the end of my aisle. From the first hug and the first time in his arms I knew he was my white suit at the end of my isle. That weekend changed the direction of my whole life. Every moment after that weekend made sense to me and I was finally happy and whole. I had found my missing puzzle

piece to my life. I found the man that was missing me from his rib. I start on my journey to my white suit and on my way instead of trusting my GPS , I decided to ask people for directions on the side of the highway. My white suit at the end of my isle gave me the directions and he told me to write them down and remember them but I misplaced the paper I wrote them on. The people that gave me directions got me lost and my white suit believed I wasn’t going to show up and got angry because I didn’t go by the directions I was given. When I found the directions again after getting lost and I made it to my destination my white suit was there but now there was closed doors, detours, closed roads and the doors open sometimes and he lets me in and sometimes the highway opens and it looks like we have the same address to get there but my white suit at the end of my aisle GPS starts to tell him Re-Calculating , take the next legal U-turn. When he is coming in the right direction then his road say detour and it takes him in a different direction. I still have the same address but I had to learn to slow down and wait for my white suit to make it mile marker that I am waiting at for him. One day we will be on the same road heading back to the same address and I will be with my white suit at the end of my aisle for the rest of my life. I love him with all my heart without him in my life it is hard for me to breathe. I miss him when I don’t talk to him and if I go a week without seeing him my week seems likes it gets longer. Every time he touches me I know without a doubt he is my white suit at the end of my aisle. I want to tell scream to the whole world that I love him so much and I never want to live another second of my life without him but for him it is not time yet because he is now on the back roads and trying to navigate through this thing called life without his GPS and find his destination. He wants to do it without my help and find his own way and I have to respect that because he has to show up in the white suit at the end of aisle when he finds his way and not because that is where I want him to be.