Yesterday, I found out that a woman that was like my grandmother past away. She was my sister's mother-in-law. My sister got married when I was 5 years old. I was like her shadow.
Grandma Etta lived in Baltimore and we would visit her often. She was a angel and she saved me from a lot of beatings from my brother-in-law because I was bad. I never remember her raising her voice. She was very over-protective even of my brother-in-law and he was grown with kids. I still remember the pictures I took at her house with the ponytails.
I woke up with my sister on my mind yesterday. I called my mom but she was busy and I told her I would call her back. I walked around yesterday morning trying to think of words to write to my sister because I want us to be closer. I want a relationship with her like I have with my baby sister Margo. Margo go thru alot together and she has thought me what having a close sister is like. With Denny being so much older than I am we don't have that relationship. Before I could but words on paper yesterday, my mom called me back to tell me Etta past away in my sister's arms. I could tell in her voice that she was taking it hard. I cried my tears and when I was strong enough I called my sister.
It was tell for me to step up and be the sister she needed for a change. We talked for almost a hour and she told me the story of how it happen. This was the first time in a long time that we did not fight or argue. I just listen to her and tried to comfort her. I even got her to think back on good memories of times she took me to visit Etta. My sister made Etta last days good days and I am happy about that because she had been in Baltimore a long time by herself after Bill died. She had a chance to move to New Mexico with my sister and spend time with my nephew and neice and their kids. She got to see them grown up and with good lives. She worried so much that I know that being there with them she died in peace. Yesterday was hard because I was here alone and my family was away. My kids never got to be around Etta so they did not understand. My friend Peyton understood and he was there for me and I sent the evening talking to my niece and nephew. I am cancelling my business trip to Jersey because I need to be with my family when they take her back to Baltimore. I missed my grandmother Essie funeral, I had just had my son, My grandmother Jessie Mae died when I was fighting for my life in 2000 and My grandmother Mable died two weeks after I came home from Vegas with her at my Uncle's Maurice funeral. I have to say goodbye to Etta.
This is the first time since 2007 that I did not have Tim in my life to help me get thru the pain and hurt. He had been my support system and now that is over. I took my hurt out on him last night and started a fight for no reason. He didn't deserve it and I had to say I was sorry. I was just angry that he could not fix it this time for me.
I know the tears will fall and the hurt will be there for me for awhile. I look forward to seeing my sister, my brother-in-law, my nephew and niece in a week or two. My mom is even trying to come to be with us. I just want to be there for my sister. Like she was for me growing up and introducing me to Etta.
No comments:
Post a Comment