Back to Dieting again!

Well it is that time again for me to start back to my dieting. I have reached my high again of 207 and that is not where I am comfortable. I was talking to my girl in Stockton the other day and we had this long conversation because she has known me since I was in my early 20's . She was telling me that I have always had a complex about my weight and I need to stop and learn to love me at any size. I have always loved me and will always love me but I also know at what size I feel comfortable. It is about what size a guy feels I should be because I have learn there is a man that will love you at any size. I am thinking about weight loss surgery but I am back on my HCG for now and I started it on Saturday. I had to eat everything in sight on Saturday and Sunday and gain a pound and a half but I am back on track now. I am at 204.4 this morning. I have got everything I need to prepare my meals and it is easier because I just have to worry about me this time. Me, Sakyi, Diana are doing the new lifestyle thing now. My goal is 150.

Work is awesome and loving everyday. It is different being the boss in the IT world again. My team is awesome and my managers are great. Going to do a site visit in May in Kansas and Oklahoma.

Well me a girl in Baton Rouge have some deep conversations. The new one this week is Money a condition for someone loving you. My answer is money as nothing to do with love. You can love someone and be broke. Just because someone can not buy you things and give you money does not mean they do not love you. It means they can not afford to help you financially and you should respect that and not expect it.

I may be going to visit Monroe for the 4th of July to go to my friends' family reunion and see my brother. I am not sure yet but I am thinking about it. I haven't seen my brother since 2012 and my friend since 2011.

School is great but a lot of time I have to put into it. I have a 3.0 g.p.a . I am learning a lot and it is helping with work and my company.

I moved into my 2 bedroom on Feb 11th and I love it. I also got TJ a car. It isn't new but he loves it.

I got to see Sakyi also I sent for her to come visit me for a couple of days and it was a good feeling to see my daughter. I haven't seen TJ since September and can not wait for him to come home in May

As far as love let's say that it is a subject that I don't express. It is called a invisible force field. Anyone that is close to me will understand the the statement

See ya! later!!! Peace

Emotions all over the place

This was a untitled unpublished post from 5/2014

I have been divorced since 2005 and I had a couple of relationships since then but none of them like my marriage. I was married for 15 years and everyday I was married i know without a doubt my husband loved me even when I filed for a divorce. I knew I came first in his life and everyone that knew him also knew this fact. I have not had this since then and sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I even miss somethings about the relationship I had after marriage. He did a lot of things for me that made me feel special. Since I came into the music industry I have not been able to have a open public relationship and sometimes that is hard. I woke up and realized that I have lived alone since I put my ex-boyfriend out Nov 5th 2005. My life is busy and I don't have alot of free time but to be honest I guess I don't know what I want anymore. I think the hardest part for me now is to know that  I have feelings that never express anymore. One day I will be able to express how I feel and one day I will be able to scream it from the top of the tallest building and post it for the whole world to see.  For now I focus on me and doing the things to make myself a better me!