Emotions all over the place

This was a untitled unpublished post from 5/2014

I have been divorced since 2005 and I had a couple of relationships since then but none of them like my marriage. I was married for 15 years and everyday I was married i know without a doubt my husband loved me even when I filed for a divorce. I knew I came first in his life and everyone that knew him also knew this fact. I have not had this since then and sometimes I miss it. Sometimes I even miss somethings about the relationship I had after marriage. He did a lot of things for me that made me feel special. Since I came into the music industry I have not been able to have a open public relationship and sometimes that is hard. I woke up and realized that I have lived alone since I put my ex-boyfriend out Nov 5th 2005. My life is busy and I don't have alot of free time but to be honest I guess I don't know what I want anymore. I think the hardest part for me now is to know that  I have feelings that never express anymore. One day I will be able to express how I feel and one day I will be able to scream it from the top of the tallest building and post it for the whole world to see.  For now I focus on me and doing the things to make myself a better me!