Monday, May 7, 2012

Unbelievable changes in 2012

This post was a unpublished post from 2012



I decided my themes for 2012 is that everything is possible, not to do anything that does not make me happy, love someone that truly loves me return, embrace my family and friends, and take my company to the next level. When you pray for something for some long you have to believe that God will deliver.

I reunited with a old college friend and decided to give relationship a try and it was good but something unexpected happened to end the relationship but not the friendship.My daughter also got married and moved back to Monroe.

My son signed his letter of intent for football with University of Saint Mary in Leavensworth , KS. He is following in my footsteps and majoring in Computer Information Systems. My godsons also signed on signing day and will go to Lincoln University and SMU



 I have look for my son's father for 23 years and I thought that I would never find him. I was so in love with him when I left him 1989 but I let the fear of my father come before everything that was important to me at that time. I dropped out of college ran off from the man I was so in love with pregnant  with his child because I thought it was the best thing for all of us but I never told him I was carrying his child. Only a few ppl knew but our friends close to us had an idea. He did find out but it was after I left. I was so worried but my father finding out that hide it from everyone. The end result was not good and  my son Lil Malcolm died at birth. I made it my mission that I would find his father to tell him the truth and let him know what happen and I search for him for 23 years.  I ended up going to one of my bestfriend's wedding  and ran into my son's fathers old roommates and homeboys at the wedding and within me being in Chicago for 24 hours I found him. I also met my first cousin Dee and her family and that was so awesome.

I always dream about what it would be like when I found him, what I would say, how I would explain my actions. I always thought we both would be happily married to other ppl. I would be able to tell him what happen and walk away and go back to my life. That was exactly what I said it was " a dream". My life was turned upside down when I found him but things are now settling down for me now again

I made my move to Detroit the last weekend in April. Everything is right on schedule with the move. I have a good job and moved over last weekend and started work last Monday morning. I left my co-workers and friends back at Exxon for my new job at DTE Energy in Detroit.


I miss my kids a lot and can not wait until the end of the month to go get him. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I thought they were my feelings

The one thing I hate more than anything is when someone tries to tell me how I feel and what I want. It is very frustrating to be misunderstood. I want love and understanding and I want a real man in my life. I have been on my own since I was 17 and to make sure I never fell on my face I was always in the position to control my life. This does not mean that if the right person comes into my life that I could not release control for him to be the head of our household. The one thing about me is when I love I love hard. I don't fall in love easy and when I do it takes a lot for me to fall out of love. I think I just need a break sometimes........

Monday, December 12, 2011

Many different feelings


I turned 44 last week and it feels good. I like where I am in life but I am looking forward to my life after TJ graduates. Everyday is something new with the boys but it is a challenge for me. I was always told that you appreciate things more when you do it yourself. I guess it is true. I am glad that I am teaching the boys about managing and sacrificing. I have a lot on my shoulders and sometimes I do just cry when I am alone. I don't like to show the kids especially the boys when I am having a bad day. I can get us through this and when it is all over the bond between us will be even stronger. If I give them all of me that will understand how to give all of themselves to a woman in there life when they in a serious relationship. I tried to teach them about the choices they make in life and how to handle unfair situations in their life. Failure is not a option and I only can teach them from my experiences. I am not a man and I can't teach them to be a man but I can teach them the listens my father thought me. I take the good from the men around me and that is what I teach them. The recruiting process is overwhelming but thanks to ppl close to me and the website I paid for I am learning a lot. Education about things you don't know goes a long way.

My personal life is another story. There is someone in my life that I respect and love a lot but I must admit that being in two different states is hard. I get lonely and I want to just be under him but it is not possible right now. I realize how much I miss having a day to day relationship with someone special in my life. I get conversation everyday but I can not wait until I can wake up and cook him breakfast in bed, cuddle all day, hang out and go to events, just enjoy each other all day everyday. It has been a adjustment for me to be back in a relationship but the real adjustment will happen being in the same city. I am good with it now because I am not dealing with any baggage from my past. I have given myself time to heal and it is a good feeling.


Friday, November 25, 2011

A New Direction ! From California to Michigan

                                                       

 Living in Jersey with a Michigan Hoodie!

It has been awhile since I blogged and a lot has happen since my trip to Detroit. I found out some important things on that trip that changed the course of my life. I was with my Aunt and Cousins for the first time without my parents around but every house that I went to had my parents presents. I saw my great uncle and older cousins that were my babysitters when I growing up and all my younger cousins that I use to babysit when they came down south. I realized how much I miss living around my family. I took a lot of pictures, look at a lot of old pictures and just enjoyed my family being around me. The only other time that I have had a lot of my family around was when I lived in LA. Most of my cousins around my age have left LA because of how expensive it is to live there. My plan was to move back to LA in the summer after TJ graduated and just do me and run my company. After my trip to Detroit, I decided on a new destination. I finally got a chance to meet my best friend face to face after five years of daily conversations. He has help me thru a lot in the past 3 1/2 years. I got to go sight seeing and around Detroit but the one place I didn't want to go was to my grandparents old neighborhood. I didn't see Trey this time but with the move I know I will see him a lot. Trey has been around since 2002 and he is not going anywhere.

                                                                         My Baby Boy! T.J

Football season for T.J was exciting this year with him being on varsity. Every week was a roller coaster in my house with the boys. Yes, I said boys. Dontrell is still with me and has really became like part of my family. I think if his mom ever said he had to leave I would be sad. They started off slow with some major losses but ended up going to the playoffs. I found this website that help me get T.J look at by major colleges for a football scholarships. He has been giving a scholarship to go to college in Kansas and he also has a opportunity the Reg open for him in Missouri. I hope to keep him and Dontrell together for school so they will have each other. T.J was nominated for homecoming court and I believe he did win but after a black female won homecoming queen it was no way that the school was going to let it go down in history like that but he was good with it. It was amazing to see how much my son is like me. He is a leader like mom and not a follower. He has my personality and I fun to just sit back and watch him in action. I feel I have done a great job in raising him not because I say so but because that is the feedback I get from everyone that comes in contact with him and they tell me I that I have done a good job. I feel my parents especially my dad had a lot to do with it because he was my role model of what a man is suppose to be like and that is what I thought my son. So right now it is between University of Saint Mary's and Lincoln University in Missouri for school. We still have the second half of his senior year to go but the first half was so exciting for both of us. Albert came back to the states and he was also here to support T.J and Dontrell at the games with me.

                                         Took T.J and Dontrell on a College Visit to Grambling

Now for Sakyi. She had scheduled her wedding for October and I was upset because I always dream that she would have a real wedding. I have realized that it is not the wedding that is in important but the marriage. I am excited that she has found someone that loves her as much as she loves him and they work things out together. They are not married yet but they live life like they are just in two different houses. She found the diet and fell in love with it and lost over 60 pounds. I am excited about that because I was concerned about her weight and her health. She has learned to eat better and workout now so I am so happy about that now to get her back in school.

                                                                    My Baby Girl! At Then
                                                     After losing 62 pounds in 4 months

I celebrated my last pre-thanksgiving with the girls Margo and Tanisha. We had a lot of fun, we laughed until we cried, talked about love and the one's we love, heartache and heartbreak. In the end the three of us are still strong, black women raising our kids alone and surviving in this world. All we really want is that one person to love , honor and cherish us the same way that we love them. It was our waiting to exhale moment. I will miss the holidays with the girls but I can always come back to visit and even send for her to visit me. One of our girls is already in Detroit so that would be fun to bring Margo and Tanisha up to visit.

                                                                    Margo and Tanisha
Well now for a update on me. I was told a earlier this year or last year a something that was really confusing to me. My girl Theresa Booker is like a big sister to me said "Boo you are looking for love but I believe what you are looking for has been in your life the whole time". I started looking at everyone in my life and I was not seeing it. I was still entertaining conversation with my ex but in my heart I knew that was never going to happen again for me. He was safe for me because I knew he was never coming to Houston. He was someone to talk to that I felt love me but the verdict on the whole love thing will remain a hung jury. I look at the man that has been in my life since I was 13 but I knew it wasn't him either because if being with him was right and what I wanted to do I have had 30 years. Well I recently found out who it was and she was right. He had been in my life the whole time and was the last person I expected. It has been scary making the adjustment but I trust and respect him a lot. He is a real stand up kind of guy . It was funny because the one I met on blackpeoplemeet came to visit and he was definitely not the one and when the person in my life reveal himself I had just told him how important chemistry was to me when I meet people and how there was no chemistry with that guy. When he revealed himself to me , that chemistry was there and we could only laugh about my statement. I am happy and everyday is new for me now. I go thru my periods of missing him a lot because he is not here but we will be together soon in the same place. We are learning each other on a different level now which is scary because he knows all my secrets!

Oh! the new team lead turned out to be great and I would do anything to help her succeed. I have started my job hunt for Detroit and I don't feel I will have a problem at all. I think I have also narrow down an apartment also that is not far from my sister and cousins. Being 43 has been a interested year for me with a lot of revelations and surprises, a lot of ups and downs. My business is doing great and still maintaining a great reputation in the music industry. I hope to blog again before my birthday but if not good bye 43 and hello 44!

                                                                    My 43rd Birthday
                                                                      New Year's Eve 2010
                                                                            Jan 2011
                                                                            March 2011
                                                                      May 2011 (foot surgery)
                                                                      June 2011
                                                                  June 23rd started the HCG diet
                                                                          July 2011
                                                                     End of July 2011
                                                                    First of August 2011
                                                                             Middle of August 2011
                                                                     End of August 2011
                                                                          In Detroit End of August 2011
                                                                         Sept 2011
                                                                         October 2011- Lost 35 pounds
                                                                         November 2011
                                               Me and my baby boy! End of November

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Feeling really good about life


I have been on the HCG since June 23rd. I am down to 184 from 209. My numbers go up and down because of my blood sugar dropping and I have to get carbs to get it back up. I also have another issue that I have to make sure I fix weekly with colon cleansing. I have got into a habit of going to the gym now and when I don't go I feel so tired . I am not going to stop to I get top my goal weight of 150 for now and after I get there I may go for 130. It helps that my daughter is doing it with me and she has 38 pounds.

It is football season again for my son and it is his senior year. I think I am just as excited as he is about it. I have my godson with me also this year so two teenage boys under the roof is not as bad as I thought it would be. My daughter is getting ready for life , moving out and getting married . We watch the wedding shows all the time now.

I am going to Detroit on the 26th for the first time since my grandfather died in 2006. I will get to see Reg T, Eightmile and Dommy Styles and Trey. My family is excited that I am coming and I am happy to go see my aunt for her 75th birthday.

I joined blackpeoplemeet.com and I have met some interesting people. I have not been out on any dates yet because the people I have decided to talk to live out of state. I met one that is standing out among the rest and really keeping my attention. He has a lot of potential and if he plays it right he can defeat all competition. I met one person in town today and that is crazy and I will tell you about that later. I miss my friend but he is focus on studying so he can go back to school and I am happy that is getting back on his feet.

I have a new team lead starting tomorrow and she is a woman. It is not bad that she is a woman but it is bad that she is not technical and have no experience in Desktop support. I will wait to see what happens but I am going to miss Ethan.


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Battling with Weight Gain- Starting my HCG Diet





Since the Video I have lost 13.4 pounds in 13 days and found out that I should not add the crystal light to my water. My daughter has had a 20 pound lost in 13 days and we are enjoying the diet. I have decided for my 44 birthday I want to be in a size 4! Let's Go HCG....Let's get healthy..

Starting weight 209 6/23

7/6 195.9

Sunday, June 12, 2011

B Serious Love, Life and Relationships is Back with a New Co-Host Dub-X Tha General





After two years of I decided that it was time to bring back my talk show. I have experienced a lot in two years from love, death, conflict and just experiencing life! Check out the new show every week on Blogtalkradio.com/adorablep

Listen to internet radio with Adorable P on Blog Talk Radio