Today has been a very emotional day for me. I always have a 10 ft wall around me all the time and never like to show the soft side of me. I went to the movies with my cousin Tujuana to see "If I Stay". It brought back memories about me being sick the I had suppress for so long. I could feel what she was feeling and I remembered hearing my family talking to me while I was in a coma. I remembered trying to fight my way back and not knowing how. I remembered not being able to breath on my own. I remembered replaying my life in my head. Thinking about the birth of my kids, my kids starting school and the promise I made to both of them to always be there for them. I heard the nurses talking about my condition and how no one expected me to live and when they put meds in the wrong tubes and felt it didn't matter. But I had a male nurse name Chris and I remember how he would come in my room at night and he would just talk to me. When I finally open my eyes, I got to see Chris. I still couldn't talk but he understood me and I never wanted him to leave. I had trust in Chris. That time was the hardest time in my life because everything I took for granted was now a challenge for me. Breathing on my own, talking, walking and feeding myself. I am so afraid and I never want to be in that spot again.
