It's been a minute since I took the time to blog but this morning I woke up with it on my mind. I took some time to do some soul searching and make some decisions about my life. I was listening to everyone's else feelings about my situation and my heart was not agreeing with any of them. I realized that the man that I am in love with does love me just as much as I love him. I enjoy every conversation we have because right now it is not possible for us to be in the same place. I tried many times to walk away and start a life without him but I am sorry it is no life without him. I have learned that real love is different from just saying you love someone. Life has it's ups and downs and people that are in love with you will ride that rollercoaster with you. I know that situations in our life today does not allow us to be a couple but I know this is not forever. I had a friend that ask me why was I looking for something I already have in my life. That was a good question because I was looking for someone to love me but a new person was never going to work because I was not ever going to be able to love them back. I even tried the friends with benefits but that only was for the sexual side of me and that was not enough. I tried a new relationship but that did not last a month. I can honestly say today I am good. I talk to my baby daily and we go thru life together. I can't fix everything and I am realizing it is not my job to make his life better but just to be there for him while he works on his own life. My heart does not hurt anymore now that I have made the right decision for me. We can be friends because the love is what keeps us together. When the time is right for us to be a couple again it will happen but for now we enjoy what we have 1700 miles apart.
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