I have experienced many endings in my life and like all endings you try to prepare for them. Yesterday I had another ending after 9 years and it feels like the ending of July 2004. It was not as bad as the ending in 2009 but I promised myself I would never allow myself to feel hurt like that again. In 2015, I finally let someone new into my life and realized the things I was missing in my life. I had learn to put distance between me and the person I was involved with since the bad relationship that ended in 2005. Everything since then has been on my terms. I avoided spending too much time with anyone.
There was one that brought down my walls but he could never make it to the other side of road of being in a publicly commited relationship.We shared many things couple shared and the chemistry between us was amazing but I wanted it all and if he did he could never admit it.
For me to move forward in my life, I have to let go completely. I learned alot in 2015 about myself and what I want and expect. I have to stop holding on to someone that is not holding on to me. I have to look out for myself and stop holding on to ppl not looking out for me. I don't think I will ever stop loving him but I will just take the memories smile and give the new opportunities a chance. I was always told a man knows what he wants and it doesn't take years for him to know.
2016 is about a mutual loving relationship that ends at the alter. It is time for me to have it all.
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